A New Law Of Attraction

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If a man comes up to me, I think:

…That was supposed to happen. I don’t want to be thinking (oh – I ATTRACTED that!).

I want to look for the good stuff in that interaction, not what I need to “fix.”

I want, in fact to stop judging the moment, the man, the interaction altogether.

I don’t want to be “adjusting” my thoughts and my energy to attract something different, or better.

I just want to be me.

Just me, whatever, however that is, and I know that I truly have no idea who I am.

I always believed in my heart that I was a non-person.

Just a clever woman getting by on smarts, on “channeling” what people wanted me to be into what I was – and I don’t think, for most of my life, I ever stopped to ask myself who I was and what I wanted.

Here’s where sex can really help – if you can feel the difference between what you “think” and what you WANT!

It’s hard to deny the body’s desires…and yet, in my past experiences, before I met my husband, I used that powerful force of sex for no good.

Rather than making me feel desired – I only felt GRATEFUL that someone wanted to have sex with me.

So what I attracted were men who were decent, kind, sweet, and friendly – where our main connection was…sex.

I didn’t attract them because of any “reason” other than THAT’S what I WANTED!

They were attracted to that person who was me because that’s who I was being, and that’s what I was SIGNALING THEM I wanted – not what “I was putting out there.”

I realize this is a subtle thing, but to me – what I’m being is what I need to love in every moment – no matter what.

What I was putting out there was…masculine energy.

So – for me, the complex thing here is what we’re wanting.

Not WHY  you’re wanting it, but WHAT you’re wanting, and looking at that and feeling through that.

And then, things begin to shift, because wanting safety and something old that made us feel safe but that actually hurts – can slowly turn into wanting something maybe not so safe – but that FEELS GOOD.

This is one of the baby-step tools I use in my personal journey. It helps me to feel this way.

Then I am judging myself so much less. And – if I do find myself judging myself – I just love my judge.

Love, Rori

 

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3 Comments

  1.  #1Femininewoman on September 25, 2017 at 10:00 am

    “And then, things begin to shift, because wanting safety and something old that made me feel safe but that actually hurt slowly turns into wanting something maybe not so safe but that FEELS GOOD.”

    A bit difficult for me to understand



  2.  #2Rori Raye on September 28, 2017 at 3:56 pm

    FW – I remember (and still this happens) that I start to notice feeling grumpy and complaining and unhappy – and then I notice that under it, I’m afraid. I’m afraid of doing something different and a bit new and scary that would change the complaining, grumpy, yes, but replace it with fear.

    And then, something shows up that appeals to me. Someplace to go, something to do, something to say, someway to move – and it either feels in the same wheelhouse place as the complaining grumpy stuff – and then I know I’m just entertaining another “placeholder” – or it shows up as a bit of a thrill.

    When it shows up as a bit of a thrill -I follow it…and then, whatever happens, that original cycle of staying stuck is over. Everything changes, because I have seen a way out. Now – it’s up to me to choose. Now – the scary is a little bit less scary, and the grumpy is a little bit less worthwhile, just because it’s safe.

    I think what would help with this is a specific scenario – so if you have one – I’ll write about that! Love, rori



  3.  #3Femininewoman on October 4, 2017 at 11:20 am

    I guess because for me it feels to run away from some feels so its easier to just cover them up and then run away