You Are Not “Responsible” For Who You Attract And Are Attracted TO!!!!

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It’s not something you can control, and manipulate, and refine.

It’s not what you “put out there” that you “get back” or attract.

The idea is to strip away all the pretend stuff, all the made up stuff, all the stuff we “think” and learn to just be ourselves, with our full feelings.

What happens when we sink into this is that our energy feels increased and expanded!  It’s letting go and loosening – NOT a “trying harder.”

I know this from my acting career – the harder I tried, the less anyone connected with me.

The less I tried, the more relaxed and “into what I was doing” rather than thinking about the “effect” – the more people “saw” me and “got” me.

It’s really a classic ACTORS thing – it’s what charisma is all about.

They say it’s a “gift’ – charisma – but it ‘s not.

It’s about stripping away.

And this is why you may sometimes feel crappy and hopeless – even though you’ve been working the Tools and seeing some new results – because you’ve stripped away so much, yet don’t quite feel like you have anything to replace it with…

And the thing is – you don’t WANT to replace it with anything external.

The feeling you want to go for is not the standard “I don’t care” feeling that’s actually a system-wide “shutdown” –  but an expansive, all is right with me and the Universe, I’m in the flow “peaceful” feeling.

I know that sounds way too easy, cliché and off the top of my head – yet it’s not.

It’s actually the FIRST feeling you feel when you “drop down” from your head and into your gut.

And that’s WAY easier than you think right now.

No matter where you are right now – YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK!!!!!!

The idea is to attract men who are drawn to your essence – not all the superficial stuff.

It’s a powerful aphrodisiac!

And there’s not anything you can do to CREATE that essence, it’s much more a stripping away and being so totally present, curious, interested, alive – no matter WHAT you’re feeling!

Love, Rori

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  1.  #1Femininewoman on September 11, 2017 at 9:37 am

    Imagine that!! Seems the law of attraction does not apply. What about people who’ve believed that it does?

  2.  #2mary on September 13, 2017 at 9:37 pm

    Hi Rori!

    Yesterday I was unable to use the Internet where I was, so I went to a nearby beautiful hotel and sat in the lobby for a while. On the way out I noticed some beautiful cards, so i bought some at the reception desk. While I was trying to balance everything, my computer, my purse, my money, my wine, my folio of planners, and my phone (I was ON the phone,) a man came through the lobby with a suit on. He looked at me and I was just… busy. My phone suddenly died, and I decided to go to the restroom. I lugged everything over that way, and the man was going to the restroom, too. He stopped and asked me my name. I told him. We went into our separate restrooms. I went over and looked at myself in the mirror! Oh my goodness. I looked like a wild woman! My hair was really long and it was very straight, going EVERYwhere, with static electricity, I had on my everyday everyday thing that I wear, NO MAKEUP WHATSOEVER, and oh my! I was embarrassed. I did the best with myself, then opened the door, and he was there, waiting for me. Nothing came of it but a few smiles and nods and hellos and this’s and that’s… but I felt that feeling of wonderment. What in the world?

    It happened to me several other times, too…

    One day I was traveling. I drove my car to the airport, which was an hour and a half away. I waited for the plane for two hours. I rode on the plane for four hours. I got off and had a layover for two hours. I took another plane for 1 hour. I took a bus to the ferry. I rode the ferry for two hours. I got back on the bus. Then I remembered that I had moved, and I wasn’t sure about my exit.

    I went up to ask the bus driver if there was a different exit I should take, and he said, “I know you.” I thought, “NOOOOOO!!!!!” He said, “You come this way often.” And he was right. He said, “If you ride the bus back to the station, we can get in my car and I’ll take you to your house.” So I said okay! He was a good guy. When we arrived at my place, he asked me out. I had been traveling almost 20 hours, felt like a wreck, hadn’t bothered to even put on nice shoes, hadn’t even combed my hair all day, felt like hell, and he wanted to go out with me?

    I think there’s some truth to what you’re saying here…

    ~ Mary

  3.  #3mary on September 14, 2017 at 6:46 am

    hello Feminine Woman!

    I’m interested in what you said about the law of attraction. I read a lot of those books. And the books before those books… did you ever read Florence Shinn?

    I had the most amazing, idyllic childhood that anyone could ever want. Great parents, amazing teachers, brand new schools, beautiful house, wonderful friends, etc. No worries.

    But no wary/s, either. I was naive. I got married and the challenges began. My commitment was for life, and I took that commitment seriously, so I just decided to work the problems. I didn’t know what to do, and I was a very private person, so I started reading. I read hundreds of books. I read so much that I had to limit myself… “tomorrow I will only read FIVE hours, or I will only read the rest of this book, and I will not start another one… etc…” I read spiritual books only for ten years. Then I read psychology books for ten years. I was a piano player, and there was one guy who would hang around (my only groupie) and he said he was getting a doctorate in psychology, and he offered to let me read his books, then discuss them with me. He came every Sunday evening, brought me a book, and I returned the one I had just read, and we talked. I asked him questions and he talked while I was playing… Then in between songs I asked more questions, nad he talked while I was playing… We had amazing chats. Free therapy!

    I read everything. And I found that the philosophies and the strategies that were about getting things, or controlling outcomes, were less attractive (to me) and worked less for me than the principals and teachings that helped me just to “be” in my reality. Instead of trying to change what was happening, I looked for ways to accept my situation and work with it and love it. And there came a time when I decided that enough was enough, and I made a decision to leave. But that decision, I believe, was a love decision. I purposefully used the external barrier of divorce as a tool of protection so that love could continue and as a way to prevent bitterness from having a place to grow.

    And the love goes on and on…

    The idea of attracting something to me (for me) is too much pressure for me. It’s too results-oriented and there is too much of the burden of the outcome that is on my shoulders. I prefer, instead, to see the world as a temporary place where needs are not always met, things don’t always go as planned, challenges are the norm and there is the whole gamut of emotions: grief, overwhelming sadness, fear, humiliation, anger and… happiness. It seems that happiness is overrated, eh, because there are so many other powerful ways to “be” in any situation.

    Possibly when a person is in the feeling of the moment, as Rori is suggesting, (I think,) that person gives out a true message to the world. There is no faking it. There is no worry about throwing positive vibes out to a universe so that positive things will be returned. And people respect authentic people. Authenticity is attractive sometimes and it repels sometimes but it is respected. Maybe Rori is saying, “just focus on what’s going on now, don’t worry what others are thinking, you will be attractive to some and not to others, etc.”

    My interpretation, and my mindset… (and I do actively have to “set my mind” on it:)


  4.  #4Clare on September 16, 2017 at 7:20 am


    I agree with you that happiness is overrated… or anyway, happiness itself is not overrated, but the striving for it is. I like to think of my ideal state as contentment. A soft, peaceful feeling of accepting my life as it is, and knowing that all the things that are meant for me are making their way to me.

    I also agree with you about the burdensome nature of trying to attract something to you. I threw out that concept some time ago. And the main reason is that I’ve noticed that all the really great things that have happened to me in my life have been serendipitous. They’ve happened seemingly by chance and when I was least expecting them. There is nothing I could have done to attract them since they took me entirely by surprise and were usually even better than anything I could ever have come up with. I think the only thing I’ve ever *done* to attract the things that I want is to trust and have faith in life itself… and that is far more about not doing. It’s a wonderful way to be, because it prevents you endlessly mourning things which leave your life and longing for things to come into your life. I remind myself on a daily basis that what is meant for me will come to me, because it has always worked out that way… in my life at least.

    I take my love life as an example. There is not a single guy I have ever been involved with whom I still pine for and wish I was still with. All of them exited my life because they were not right for me, and I always came to see that in time. The only man I kind of wish I was with is a man I went on a date with recently who is still in recovery from the death of his mom and the break up of a long-term relationship in which he was repeatedly cheated on. He liked me a lot and set up a second date, but I could feel that he was still tender and aching and nervous, and so it came as no great surprise to me when he told me that he was unable to get into something now. He’s said he’ll get in touch when he’s sorted himself out. I believe him, and at the same time, I’m not actively hoping or striving or rushing for it. I want things to unfold for me when it’s the right time. I’m a very big believer in timing. Don’t know if that makes sense, but it seemed apt to share.

  5.  #5Olivia on September 16, 2017 at 5:53 pm

    Also –

    I feel rude for not saying so first – this post is so Rori and I love it. Thank you Rori. I need these soulful reminders.

    PS: I am getting married this coming Saturday. 🙂 Whenever I feel things slipping, I sirenify myself and things go back to balance. We have a toddler which is a challenge because my sultry energy is just….let’s say very muted. But it will revive itself with time.

  6.  #6mary on September 17, 2017 at 9:28 am

    i’m so missing the blog, Rori!

    i know you’ve got an army of coaches now to take the torch and run with it, but there is no other Rori…

    missing YOU!

    with love,


  7.  #7TreeNymph on September 17, 2017 at 6:49 pm

    Hi! I am someone who has been on the blog before. I have taken a long hiatus, and I am back with a new name. I came on here to post something specific that I am experiencing, and I thought maybe I could get some “feedback” or “tough love,” because I need an outside perspective to keep me grounded, even while I keep journaling to myself. It just keeps going on, way longer than I want it to.

    But first, Hi, FW! I just want to respond to what you said about the post, because yeah, LOA actually does kind of say that what you put out there is what you will attract to you. Even Rori’s teaching sort of echo this, in the way of us shifting our “vibes” so that we can “attract” someone who matches us better. I like what Rori is saying here, though. I happen to think the LOA places way more of the onus on us than is really necessary. Yes, we can shift our awareness and our thinking, and maybe filter differently who and what we see coming toward us. But at the end of the day, no, we can’t really help it if some snaggletoothed hobo thinks we are pretty and catcalls us. No, we did not “do” anything to “attract” that into our lives. That’s just who he is. The LOA is useful, but when it comes to feminine attraction, I think it walks a fine line between taking responsibility for ourselves and our “energy” and victim-blaming, let’s say if we get harassed by someone. No, that is NOT our Fault. It never is. So this way of thinking – that we can’t control or manipulate who gets attracted to us – it is really quite freeing. It is realistic. It is sane. It means we can focus on how we respond, rather than trying to figure out what it is about US that made that person come toward us. That is often not very useful.


    Why I came on here. Well, maybe it’s not even necessary now. Now I have achieved something different. Now I have gotten out of my head and my own problem, and started thinking again about larger issues that have nothing to do with me. Maybe I don’t need that “tough love”? Maybe I am too embarrassed to say it? Maybe I already know what you would say back to me about my situation, and I was really just looking for validation? I don’t know. I’ll post this for now. I suppose if I still feel like writing about the other thing later, I will come back. I just think the story will be too long and I’d have to fill you in on so many details. So we’ll see. I think this is good for now.

    Hello blog!

  8.  #8mary on September 17, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    hello TreeNymph,

    i’m here… i’ll listen…


  9.  #9Indigo on September 18, 2017 at 1:44 am

    The above post by “Clare” should have been me! Eek, a technical glitch it seems, and now I have landed myself in moderation.

    TreeNymph, I’d love to listen and offer feedback if you’d like. Sometimes just writing it out helps to get it off one’s shoulders. I am in a rather tender, vulnerable place myself emotionally, and I hope I will come out of it before too long.

  10.  #10Rori Raye on September 18, 2017 at 9:06 pm

    Mary – I’m here!!!! I’m keeping writing and posting and reading what you write (so brilliantly!!!) – AND, please, when I open Siren School – get onboard there – The coaches will be all over the first Facebook group, and me, too – so that’s where the most coaching and commenting will happen from me…

    TreeNymph (love that name) – and I love what you say about LOA – and – about the hobo coming up to you – I kind of look at that -all of that – in a different way. If he comes up to me, I suppose that was supposed to happen. I don’t want to be thinking (oh – I ATTRACTED that!). I don’t want to be “adjusting” my thoughts and my energy to attract something different, or better. I just want to be me. Just me, whatever, however that is, and I know that I truly have no idea who I am.

    I always believed in my heart that I was a non-person. Just a clever woman getting by on smarts, on “channeling” what people wanted me to be into what I was – and I don’t think, for most of my life – I ever stopped to ask myself who I was and what I wanted.

    Here’s where sex and food really help! It’s hard to deny the body’s desires…ohhh – I’l make this a psot! Love, Rori

  11.  #11mary on September 22, 2017 at 12:55 am

    i would like to read the post about sex and food, Rori!