You Are Venus – The Aphrodite Poem

Untitled design (14)

This was sent to me by “Beth” – and I just loved it…I’m pasting it on my mirror…

Aphrodite Poem by Agapi Stassinopoulos

So tell me about your beauty, your irresistible attraction.
All women are born beautiful.
Knowing that, however, is their choice!
All women are born deserving love.
Choosing that is up to them.
I have no bonds or boundaries;
I love whom I choose and when I want.
I’m free in my love; I am in bliss.
In my senses I rejoice.
You do not choose me-
you’re afraid of my freedom-
you judge me.
You pollute me with your thoughts, your shame and your guilt.
I’m moved to ecstasy when I love;
when I mate I become one.
I know how.
Everything that breathes and is alive comes under my domain:
doves, dolphins, swans,
roses, irises, lilies.
All pleasures and sensuous delights.
perfumes and oils,
lustrous fabrics, foods and drinks.
Music thrills my soul:
the lyre, the harp, the soft sounds make love to me.
The waves of the sea-
oh, yes, there you’ll see me
in the ocean,
in the sunsets,
all the exquisite beauty between birth and death,
when day meets the night.
Why do you fear death?
I die every time I mate. I am in ecstasy.
I give myself over and over and over again
to the glory that is love in the moment.
I have no fear of losing myself.
Oh, there is the secret:
to give oneself and keep oneself intact.
That is my bliss, my mortal, divine bliss.
I know who I am.
I smile. Can you see
My secret smile?
To whom do I belong?
I belong to me.

I love everything about the Goddesses of mythology, and how they each – all the different goddesses of different cultures – represent an aspect of our female selves – and so often those aspects that are most powerful are ones we tend to want to hide.

I googled this author and had some fun listening to her talk…it reminded me about my Goddess aspects and my Goddess self – and we can never be reminded too often…

This is about being a Modern Siren…and now I’m feeling very much like playing on the Siren Island of my heart – and the Siren Island that is the world out there, if I can see it that way…

Love, Rori

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89 Comments

  1.  #1Brenda on June 18, 2010 at 2:49 pm

    Love, romance, and sex are beautiful gifts.

    Thank you for the inspiration, Rori!!



  2.  #2StarLight on June 18, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    ah, the lovely truth of who we really are – so beautiful; thank you ๐Ÿ˜‰



  3.  #3Jilly on June 18, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    yes! the world can be our Siren Island ๐Ÿ˜‰ I feel happy about that.



  4.  #4Simply Shannon on June 18, 2010 at 7:39 pm

    Even though some of this goddessy stuff feels out there to me, I feel lovely reading this poem.

    Like taking a bite out of a lush orange,
    juice dripping down my arm,
    the sweetness crashing on my tongue,
    spraying my nose with its tangy fragrance.

    Everything on this planet is wonderfully made and beautiful. *I* am wonderfully made and beautiful. And how grateful I feel for all of my senses.

    Mmmmhmmmm. Yummy.



  5.  #5Lucy on June 18, 2010 at 8:43 pm

    My favorite lines:

    “I love whom I choose and when I want.”

    “I have no fear of losing myself.
    Oh, there is the secret:
    to give oneself and keep oneself intact.”



  6.  #6Daria on June 18, 2010 at 11:21 pm

    oh dear venus –

    im feeling lonely. I Was invited to club owner’s party

    i feel unsafe leaving the house… because of my dad… i feel afraid of him a lil bit… ahhh

    and i feel concerned about teh money it would take to get there…

    and going by myself to a party where i don’t know anyone… i feel a lil unsafe

    and maybe it would be a good opportunity to meet men right ?

    i feel sad

    and then

    the man who wanted to see me tonite, that was scheduled for tomorrow

    he sounds a bit drunk
    and i feel

    JADED

    about men

    yes me

    i feel mad t them

    i feel mad at them not showing up
    when i want company

    i feel mad at not having a best friend

    or guy friends

    and i feel scared of losing my license

    when i keep saying i dont want to drive

    ufff

    i feellike im throwing myself in mud

    haning head

    i feel lonely

    and i feel afraid to get out the house cuz of my dad being downstairs

    and

    i feel locked away in my tower here

    with the computer

    looking out the window

    at the dark road

    dear venus

    this does not seem your place
    here

    i feel lonely and dark

    i feel sad

    i feel sad that i wont connect with that man tomorrow

    because i havent been connecting much with men

    i am mad at them

    i feel mad at men right now

    and i got mad at my godbrother

    and i feel

    not very sexy

    and i don’t feel

    like doing the things

    that make me sexy

    i feel longing for them to pull up
    to the tower
    so i can jump in

    but not drunk

    and i feel guilty

    that im being picky

    and saying not this and not that

    not th eparty tho i want to be invited to one

    not the show tho there was one

    not a man coming tonite when we have plans tomorrow
    tho i want a man to come tonite

    ufff

    i miss that last man i fell in love with

    he came and left on the wind

    and i am on the wind too

    i know how it is

    i feel sad

    i am the wind woman

    wind woman is lonely

    and when winds blow together
    its not for long is it

    its not a solid

    its easy to blow off course

    like running my hand thru the air

    so sad aphrodite

    i feel sad

    where is my heart

    my heart is green

    and bottom blue

    its cool

    and much sad

    sad sad sad

    in my heart

    so sad

    the whole world sad

    lonely

    sad

    is me

    lonely like the ocean

    and the moon

    so much lonelyiness

    shall i just love it

    i love you loneliness

    it feels so romantic to be lonely

    i feel so good to feel lonely and bad

    profound right

    deep and profound

    lonely deep and profound

    down down down to the bottom

    the village lost

    of flickering lights

    of coral fish and sea anemones

    stay

    until you get lonely again

    lonely lonely lonely

    my companion

    i love my lonely

    so close to lovely lonely

    ohh

    so close to tears

    so close to almost

    so lonely



  7.  #7Brenda on June 19, 2010 at 8:08 am

    Daria,

    I hope you don’t let your father control you. I hope you tell him you’re not willing to be controlled by his anger.



  8.  #8Turtle Girl on June 19, 2010 at 8:52 am

    Hi Sirens-

    I haven’t posted for a while. Been really busy. I read when I can and still find this place an amazing place with amazing women.

    I have been growing so much in learning about my self, all the men, the changes that happen when I feel and be completely authentic. Everything works.
    It is worth the trouble, and the anxiety does not really last that long. The self worth goes up in leaps and bounds and you feel so much better.

    I took a break from cd’ing but now I am back at it again.

    I took a lover almost ten years my junior! And oh man, what a thrill ride this has been. I come and I go and I do not care what he does. He is fascinated
    with me. Good. I am still dating other men.
    Everything we were taught about men and women and how to behave is all wrong. The stuff Rori teaches works. It really really does.

    One night he made some insulting comment and right there on the spot I said “Oh, that feels bad. That feels nasty.” HE deflected, but the next day was calling and apologizing all over himself for being such an ass. Good. In my relationship with toxic man I would have just let the thing go, pretended to be cool and felt rage inside. Not any more. I am amazed and surprised at how quickly things turn around with a few simple different ways of handing situations.

    The crappy men have been dropping away. More really good ones are showing up. I am stating what I want and don’t want right up front. I talk about how things hurt me but don’t make him wrong.
    So life and the whole man thing has improved greatly. I am even trying this new way with my daughter and her friends and what I see is that people everywhere are lapping it up, like they have all been dying in the desert for someone to say how they really feel. It has improved my relationships with everyone greatly, not just men. It takes courage. It takes not caring what the outcome will be. By letting go, they come back.



  9.  #9Turtle Girl on June 19, 2010 at 8:56 am

    This poem is incredible. I printed it out and it hangs next to my computer reminding me every moment of who and what I am, what all of us are. So beautiful.



  10.  #10Lucy on June 19, 2010 at 10:06 am

    Daria, I feel something really deep and beautiful reading #5 — this is my favorite (so far) of your poetic musings.

    I can really relate to most of it — especially, now, this part:

    “he came and left on the wind

    and i am on the wind too

    i know how it is

    i feel sad

    i am the wind woman

    wind woman is lonely

    and when winds blow together
    its not for long is it”

    <3
    Lucy



  11.  #11Ankita on June 19, 2010 at 11:23 am

    Hello everyone

    I am set for my 1st date since I started reading Rori’s stuffs. i couldn’t make it before coz I was busy with my papers….

    Now I feel quite confident of myself coz now I am about to move ahead in my career in the direction i always wanted…. I am going to be a Civil Engineer now…. Woohoo…… ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜€

    The guy seems very interested in me… Calls me often and everyday, we met online just a week ago, and now here we are, on a date, he asked me for a date.. He wanted to meet me soon…. I agreed, though am not that into him, but I am going to him just so that I can practice Rori’s tools…

    After exactly 12 hours from now, I will be off for date…



  12.  #12Ankita on June 19, 2010 at 11:55 am

    Love this one

    All women are born deserving love.
    Choosing that is up to them.
    I have no bonds or boundaries;
    I love whom I choose and when I want.
    Iโ€™m free in my love; I am in bliss.
    In my senses I rejoice.
    You do not choose me-
    youโ€™re afraid of my freedom-
    you judge me.
    You pollute me with your thoughts, your shame and your guilt.
    Iโ€™m moved to ecstasy when I love;
    when I mate I become one.
    I know how.



  13.  #13Ankita on June 19, 2010 at 11:58 am

    This guy said that he will just hold my hands… No prob at all, but I somehow feel uncomfortable letting guys I am not particularly attracted to, touch me…. Even my hand…!!

    I feel li’l uncomfortable….



  14.  #14Brenda on June 19, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    Ankita, tell him that! You feel comfortable. Don’t let any man intimidate you ever again. I tell men it’s a first date. I don’t know you. I feel uncomfortable showing affection with a stranger.

    If he still tries to? Which many do…I get nasty, because I’ve already set my boundary, and they aren’t respecting me.



  15.  #15Tina on June 19, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    Truckman is back! he asked me if I wanted to be with him, I couldnt answer him, I feel confused, about how I am feeling. I finally told him. I said, I feel afraid, he said thats not what i asked you. I said I know.



  16.  #16Tina on June 19, 2010 at 2:54 pm

    He asked if I cried , I said no, but i did have a lot of fun. did I miss him , no but i have some abandonment issues, lol.



  17.  #17Tina on June 19, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    I was beginning to say NEXT , he said so I think I get what your saying, ok tell me if im wrong, You care about me but you feel afraid, and you dont know if your wanting to be with me or that you have abandonment issues. right?



  18.  #18Jilly on June 19, 2010 at 6:30 pm

    Go Ankita! Civil Engineer… That’s awesome ๐Ÿ˜‰ Have fun on your date.

    Daria…I so needed you in my head today! This guy who I went out with once (on Wednesday) texted me yesterday while I was at work and I didn’t text him back until this morning and he got really mad at me saying not very nice things and that he didn’t know I had a 24 hr job…it felt bad to me so I said “oh..that feels bad to me” (in my head I was like..what would Daria say and how would she say it..she’s so good at saying what feels bad) but he responded with saying that I was trying to put blame on him for me not being into him…and then I really wasn’t into him at all! That was my first experience with “feeling bad” messages..babysteps right?



  19.  #19Daria on June 19, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    Jilly – I feel really turned off and angry when a man blames me for things especially sething of my choice like whether I call him back . Usually I’ve found the men who do this don’t redeem the
    selves later. So I just never write call ir accept their calls again. A version of ” walk away”. Sometimes they attack more! This is so car from what I want that a new man doing this is out… No feeling message needed. This is his stuff.

    Or I cAn sY. Wow I feel furious and really turned off. I do not want to feel blamed or obligated to call anyone. I am no longer interested or available.

    Oh btw these men come back. If they were scary ahressive I don’t reconnect.



  20.  #20Daria on June 19, 2010 at 7:01 pm

    Ohhh I feel so mad reading what you wrote! As if ur obligated to be into him!!! Haha. Oh ur not into me how dare you! I would feel creeped out by this guy! Feels way unsafe!



  21.  #21Jilly on June 19, 2010 at 7:41 pm

    I love that …the texting version of “just walk away” and you are right on…after I gave my feeling message he texted back 3 more times and I just never responded because I felt so attacked and angry…I almost said I was interested but I’m definitely not now…but I just left it at that and erased his stuff…I feel creeped out too.
    Thanks Daria for the responses…I feel a little bit better about it…



  22.  #22Sherry on June 19, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    I LOVE this poem!! It says what I feel every woman on this site is about! Perfect!!

    I went on a date the other night and I think I was triggered for the first time… Long story short – after his working 12 hours (9-9) we went out to eat and then bowling. After 2 games we were talking and he said he felt ready for bed. Not with me lol he was saying he was tired and wanted to call it a night. He asked if I thought it was rude of him to say that and I responded no. So we wrapped things up and said goodbye. On the way home I started getting really pissed! He had asked me the day before when I had to work the morning after our date and I told him and then asked why and he said because he wanted to know how long he got me for ๐Ÿ™‚ I have to work earlier than he does so I’m always the one who ends the dates. Anyway, so on the way home I saying things like “oh you wanted to know how long you got me so you could end the f*ing date?” And things like that..

    I am trying to know my feelings and as I said before it is hard for me. I recognized this is my issue but I have no idea where it comes from or how to find out. Can anyone suggest a previous post or a way they personally get to the bottom of their issues? I have been thinking about this for a few days and I am clueless as to why I reacted that way.



  23.  #23Tina on June 19, 2010 at 8:47 pm

    I had a weird experiance hehe, we “me and truckman” were up all night again, we usually are when he is here or I am there , anyway after our “fight” I stayed open to him after , I didnt call, email unless he emailed me, i took my time and did things when I felt like it – no fckn sandwich for you! so yeah anyway we met , we talked, he said he was a tool lol, I said yes, you were a tool, he said you can use me as your tool, I said sure. The sex was um strange, I stopped , started, had to stop again, we talked, started, talked some more finally we talked about my NEED FOR SAFETY, he didnt get it at first or maybe he did, but I was feeling weird , weird, is a feeling damnit ok. Usually during sex, he is like a bulldozer lol, yeah a bulldozer, but this time felt more tender and caring and um softer. I did cry though after I he said he “got it” he said he apoligized to my father -he’s dead, that he treated his daughter so disrespectfully, is that weird? I was ok with it, we went to the grave yard where he is buried, I had no idea that is what he was doing. He offered tobacco to the ancestors and prayed. hm…



  24.  #24Jessica on June 19, 2010 at 8:48 pm

    Love it!…I feel great. I belong to me too! I would appreciate some guidance and suggestions. I placed an add on Craigslist regarding the woman I am and what I am looking for..I received over 100 very nice responses in 2 Days. And some good quality guys for sure.. I have communicated via email with several of them. Any suggestions on how to sort thru them..and what about meeting them..obviously for safety reasons I will meet them out for coffee etc..I havent sent pictures yet, as the only ones I have are with me and the children.. Any suggestions. A friend says I need to have a picture taken all dressed up etc.. (I am a more casual gal..)

    Rori you are absouutely correct, They arent all just looking for a 40 DDDD, blonde 25 year old or the physical thing They were attracted to me by my directness and energy in my post.. Some of them didnt even seem to care about seeing a picture before meeting me. They just wanted to meet a real down to earth honest secure woman.



  25.  #25Tina on June 19, 2010 at 8:52 pm

    Is feeling triggered constantly by this man not a good sign? dunno, Daria? lol



  26.  #26Tina on June 19, 2010 at 8:53 pm

    or anyone really.



  27.  #27Jilly on June 19, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    Tina..that feels like a good story to me. And weird is definitely a feeling lol

    Jessica..wow 100 responses in 2 days feels amazing ๐Ÿ˜‰ Good luck with all the men!! I hope you have fun with this ๐Ÿ˜‰



  28.  #28Tina on June 19, 2010 at 8:57 pm

    Thanks Jilly ๐Ÿ™‚ I wasnt feeling sure about it all.



  29.  #29Daria on June 19, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    Tina – I feel unsure… I feel a bit out of the water as from what I know he is majorly stepping up, but also you agreed to exclusivity way early so it is a bit different…

    it may be that as you are getting to know each other and you see his anger reactions you are already feeling so invested because of exclusivity so it’s extra triggering

    if it were me I would circular date…

    and i feel worried that no man will step up to claim me but ok i am holding out for the one i feel good and safe with

    dating or engaged, no exclusivity for me

    you already had ring i know i felt good about that, but not engagement tho talking about marriage

    i feel confused too Tina

    feeling bad and berated = not good sign

    working thru triggers = good PRACTICE for Tina, not necessarily good Man

    sigh

    i feel confused too

    apologize to father ok thank you, i feel intrigued and also mistrustful

    I’m triggered to first love, romantic, dramatic, ghost talking, etc… ok fighting fighting more dramatic ghost talking

    yeah but what about ME

    I feel unsafe

    I DO NOT want name calling in my life, I feel furious, I feel unsure and unsafe

    I want to date many men, until I meet the one i feel sure and safe that i will be treated well

    i want more than passion i want safety and kindness



  30.  #30Daria on June 19, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    I feel ANGRY for TINA



  31.  #31Daria on June 19, 2010 at 9:00 pm

    I feel unsafe…

    so hot too hot… too emotionally close for Daria, hot hot hot…

    too hot,,,

    unstrap BYE drop away

    100 men

    100 men

    100 men

    prove it



  32.  #32StarLight on June 19, 2010 at 9:03 pm

    Turtle Girl: I am fascinated by your post about taking a lover … I ran into someone I dated previously & I wanted to do just this thing; but he texted tonight that he felt awkward and didn’t want to see me ’cause he thot I wanted something “more”…I replied I was not into boyfriends but was dating many men & only interested in being sexually exclusive with one…is that how you handled it? he got all feminine energy on me and that’s NOT what I want … I want a lover (he IS fantastic) and I want to CD until I find the one to put a ring on it…



  33.  #33StarLight on June 19, 2010 at 9:10 pm

    YAY Ankita; I hope your first date feels wonderful & happy ๐Ÿ™‚



  34.  #34Tina on June 19, 2010 at 9:28 pm

    Thanks Daria ๐Ÿ™‚



  35.  #35Daria on June 19, 2010 at 9:42 pm

    Ugh so mad and frustrated at not getting out theree… another day spent in the house…

    clubs are starting where can I go I don’t want to go anywhere alone right now, it would feel cold outside

    I’m shutting myself down from them

    i’m in the loneliness i close my cardboard box go away i want to go to the party i dont want to

    if i get in the car i’ll feel better it is cold I Have to shower first I don’t want to go thru getting in the shower and feeling a bit cold

    its a good idea

    then i have to wear nice clothes i dont have nice clothes in mind i dont want to be cold i feel stuck

    where will i go thyere just calling and texting me im alone

    i dont want to drive to you men’s parties alone i want to meet more men who come see me

    i dont have a set place in mind i dont want to go to any of the places i do know where are they

    san jose

    kitties

    funky monkey – again? not going to that one alone tho theres guys there mhm

    san francisco elbow room why elbow room i dono havent been there

    just get in the car and then what

    then ill just be texting men or people and wont have something to get into

    would even go to dmans house to hang out BUT this fool asks me like at 12 30 midnite yesterday instead of now

    wtf

    if i was out what woudl i do

    i might text my brother i dont want to drive to him

    i might text these girls i dont wnat to do what theyre doing and they would at best coem with me

    i dont have a cute outfit in mind

    i bet i if i go shower and try on outfits that will feel fun enuf i might end up goign

    but i dont want to shower now

    i want to obsessively check blogs and my myspace and also study for the LSAT my addictions



  36.  #36Tina on June 19, 2010 at 9:52 pm

    Daria, I have no plans tonight, I washed my hair and exfoliated my feet with a pumus stone thingy, and I bought a body brush, i cant remember what its called, oh what does apple cider vinager do for you?



  37.  #37Tina on June 19, 2010 at 9:54 pm

    I have to do a bikini wax, i bought a bathing suit , one piece, is all i feel comfy wearing, I still have marilyn monroe bathing suit on hold but this will do for now, I going swimming tomorrow!



  38.  #38Daria on June 19, 2010 at 10:29 pm

    Tina apple cider vin – lots of good stuff. If
    take it 3 times a day burns tummy fat really well



  39.  #39Tina on June 19, 2010 at 10:48 pm

    Thanks, Daria does it work for you, i mean the tummy fat burning or is that wat your using it for.



  40.  #40Daria on June 19, 2010 at 10:51 pm

    Tina it worked for me like wow. It also worked for a friend post pregnancy. I was just eating it it in my soup it worked for me on accident



  41.  #41Sweetpea on June 19, 2010 at 11:55 pm

    Daria – how much apple cider vinegar are you taking a day? I feel intrigued.



  42.  #42Daria on June 20, 2010 at 12:49 am

    Sweetpea – 3 tablespoons a day should do it….

    split up between 2 or 3 times

    it can be taken in a glass of water before a meal… it ups the metabolism and really cuts my appetite

    when i noticed the tummy slimming effects by accident, its because i was putting a spoon in my soup and separately a spoon on my salad as dressing – for about a week

    in a week it makes a pretty noticeable change



  43.  #43Sweetpea on June 20, 2010 at 1:40 am

    Daria – awesome! I’m going to go buy some tomorrow! Thanks.

    I feel sad reading your posts about your living situation. Mine really sucks right now too. I hope your business starts booming so you can get out of your parents’ house.



  44.  #44Tina on June 20, 2010 at 1:46 am

    Daria, I’ll come to your house warming ๐Ÿ™‚



  45.  #45Daria on June 20, 2010 at 2:19 am

    Hehe I want to move out too!

    I feel sooooo slooowwww moving on this

    I want a man to come pay my 20000$ bills and get me a place to live… without “trying to get something from me”

    hehe

    I feel the squeeze that the only way that would happen is if someone Was tryina get something from me

    but ive done stuff like that for people without expecting anything



  46.  #46Daria on June 20, 2010 at 3:05 am

    430 is gonna go on my consolidated bills on tuesday and i dont know where its gonna come from.

    I’m gonna ask my dad tomorrow, hella last minute, i feel So uncomfortable doing that – YUCK

    I don’t actually feel uncomfortable asking him, In fact i think he should do MORE for me. I’m his only daughter, he makes a lot of money, I feel jealous that I don’t feel like he treats me like a princess.

    At least I have emergency backup money from him, but damn

    I feel jealous! Of people who’s dad’s spoil them.

    “ohh you’re an only child, you must be spoiled”

    ohh Really? how come I don’t feel spoiled then

    oh you should be happy your parents let you live with them

    really? cuz they really need 2 extra bedrooms? cuz they have so many other children’s mouths to feed?

    I bet you wouldn’t have stayed in my household a single month

    I wish I would get encouragements, and new cars, and spa trips, and an apartment, and a laptop, and the ok to use what oil i want without drama

    i bought the fuckin oil

    yah im broke now

    but i bought the oil

    i didnt ask you for the oil

    its my oil that i think is good for me and im gonna eat it

    i dont have to “not afford” fuckin healthy oil because i can’t afford it

    i’ll fuckin steal fucikin oil if i want to

    ugh

    this feels weird to write

    i feel uncomfortable with this voice of me

    remember Vienna’s dad, and how he cried when he saw her

    i mean, i felt touched, and uncomfortable

    it didn’t matter that she eloped, messed up her first marriage,

    that she wanted to go on a “stupid” show

    her dad got her a freakin ring

    her dad got her anything she wanted

    and was apparently nice to her

    no wonder she had such high self esteem, and great expectations out of life, and happiness about herself

    i felt jealous

    i’ve never actually seen that

    i kinda feel judgemental like … whoa that crying thing felt a lil weird creepy over the top

    uffff

    my dad has had my back in some pretty emergency situations

    i appreciate him for that

    i feel a lil sad

    im gonna ask him for help tomorrow,

    cuz basically its either that or default from what it looks like at this poing

    unless you’d like to jump in angels and shower me with that money i’ve been waiting for for awhile now

    if i default… i go bankrupt

    i wish my dad would just freakin pay the 20,000 for me

    i dono, i guess my perception is still that if i had a lot of money, i would just pay my family debts, and give it to people, etc

    my family wants me to be able to support myself financially

    but basically at the level that we live at now

    i just feel confused.

    i don’t know how to make that money come in without doing a whole lot of stuff that would seem to make my whats thta called? “standard of living” go down

    like for me, getting up early everyday to go somewhere and be in an office seems a lower standard of living than

    living on welfare an chillin

    but i dont have welfare – no children

    i dont have health insurance, I did till about a week ago when i didn’t pay it

    so I feel broke broke broke

    broke in a spectacular looking house

    driving a car that’s dangerous cuz the cv boot has needed to be fixed for a year

    will i be able to drive in 2 weeks?

    hopefully to work

    which i dont have any

    just prep work… like my fun hobby of LSAT problem solving

    who wants to go to work?

    not I

    I feel like I’m living a better life NOT working and being stuck and feeling broke

    than going to work everyday and coming back drained, with 75% of my day gone so I can regroup 25% and sleep the rest…

    and then make money to pay my bills to continue doing that

    geez

    what have we got us doing in this life

    dear Gods I dont like this way

    it doesnt feel good

    hmmm

    I guess I’m going to GO to work tho, and try to see if making more money is gonna pull up my chances to do something else, and get me outta here

    then ill have more energy

    i remember i worked at a place before, and i was making cool money, and feeling pretty relaxed, but it wasnt enough for me to get out of here, or really Do anything, and I feel worried that it will just be a repeat

    and that was part time

    i had to cut back hours cuz i didn’t want to deal with workiing 5 days a week

    and I was late

    a lot
    a
    nd they didnt want to give me my raise

    sigh

    I want to work at google cuz I think i can take the shuttle there in case theres an issue about driving

    what would be fun is to get a job at google new york, and then just up and move to new york

    yay

    but im applying to google here, not in new york

    what would be fun would be a business coach

    and getitng my business going

    but I dont ahve the MONEY to pay

    and I don’t feel comfortable asking my dad, I feel afraid of being put down, it doesn tfeel good

    sigh

    I feel resentful that I got a business coach and we only had 2 calls in one month, and i thought i could pay her for 3 months but 1 month was it

    and then im still stuck in the same place we left off then

    and i got this dui thingy

    this dui thingy that i had a bad dream about last nitue

    some people wouldnt care about a freakin dui thingy, they have other stuff to worry about and it doesnt affect me

    i feel like my life is pared down to so little that im just looking for things to feel anxious about, which feels bad

    it feels like men can’t get to me

    it feels like I can’t get to me

    it feels like I’m powerless and confused and ashamed and i love my feelings and i dont like feeling this way

    I feel addicted

    I feel addicted to not doing stuff thats good for me

    i just want help

    i feel weak like i got a fever, im waek

    i dont want to make my own chicken soup

    i always wondered if it were those times when people get fevers and epidemics, would i be one of the ones to make it, id liked to have think yes, cuz i am so alive young and strong and spirited in my body

    and that feels good

    but other times and mostly now i feel like no, id be one of the ones who dies. i didnt shake the freakin bladder infection off did i. that was one of the easy things

    ufff

    i feel afraid to be sensitive, i dont want to be one of the weak ones

    strong warrior body

    but i felt good talking about my body like i did above…it kinda cleared the energy of what i was feeling

    what did i say?

    i am so alive young and strong and spirited in my body

    yah

    i feel tingly

    i feel afriad

    i feel afraid so often and i dont like it, i feel frustrated and ashamed and judgemental of myself feeling afraid

    youa re weak

    no one likes you when you are weak

    ugh

    you disgust me

    i dont want to be aroudn you

    you will suck my energy with your weakness

    i feel icky

    no please dont leave mee

    ugh

    i feel icky

    i love my icky feelings

    i love my shame

    i love my weakness

    ouch i love my finger tightness

    i lov emy frustration

    i love my fear

    you are one of the scary ones

    i dont want to be one of the scary ones

    i love my feelings of fear

    i feel ashamed to feel fear

    dear warrior Goddess

    I feel ashamed to feel fear

    what is the message?

    the message is the door to the unknown dear sister

    do you not dance when you feel shame and fear?

    feel shame and fear and dance on anyway

    dance with the shame and fear, despite and because

    celebrate your shame and fear

    seek not to understand

    seek but to dance

    seek the feel good

    and hold the fear hand

    there is

    more parts of you

    that need your help

    like babies

    you are never the weaker one

    there is always the weaker

    what say you to the baby?

    what say you to the child who wets her bed?

    ohh

    you feel disgust

    dance on

    in the disgust

    feeling dear sister

    do you know

    the beauty that lies in that digust

    love your twitches

    let them dance you

    dear Goddess

    I feel not good

    i feel uncomfortable

    to dance in the dark cave

    i feel alone and afraid

    i do not like it

    i do not want to be in the dark cave

    but i have come here

    to look for something

    important to me

    i feel frustrated

    that i do not find it

    i feel mistrustful

    of myself

    that i shall not find it

    that i shall perish here

    in the dark and the cold

    shall slowly eat and digest me

    dear sister

    you are a firefly

    you have the magic

    you have but to trust the strength in you

    that is there

    behind your thoughts

    there is impossible

    for anything to harm you

    there is only

    the fear

    and the cold

    there is only you

    and your braveness

    of the dark

    there is only your choice

    to be here

    or to go outside

    because you know

    outside

    you will come back again

    to search for what you search for

    inside yourself in this dark place

    will you feel sustained

    to know that soon

    you will see here in the dark

    that you are safe?

    do you feel your thigh

    it squeezes

    do you feel your mouth

    it tingles

    do you feel your ovary

    it pinches

    you are alive dear sister

    here in the dark

    it is i

    i am as you are

    the dark

    place from where you come

    like all the breathing creatures

    remember me

    and find your joy here

    in this dark place

    you look for light

    and i have many riches here

    for you to find

    but the greatest

    you shall find

    is your ability

    to face the dark

    to love the dark

    for you are the dark

    dear sister

    and your fear and horror and disgust adn anger and your joy even

    all ripples

    in the dark place

    feel safe here

    come back often

    go now

    and live outside

    for but a little while

    you will know

    to come back

    for you will feel

    the desire

    to come searching here for you

    and for the gold

    in the dark place

    and you will find me here again

    in the dark place

    and you will find more

    each time you come

    go now

    you are free
    as you always are

    remember

    that you are

    the lover of the dark awaits you

    you are

    the dark

    and every spark

    is but a creation

    that you have made

    be not afraid of you

    or be afraid

    its one and the same

    you are here

    you choose

    go now

    go

    go

    go



  47.  #47Daria on June 20, 2010 at 3:11 am

    got moderated… heres my talk with the goddess in the dark

    i feel afraid to be sensitive, i dont want to be one of the weak ones

    strong warrior body

    but i felt good talking about my body like i did aboveโ€ฆit kinda cleared the energy of what i was feeling

    what did i say?

    i am so alive young and strong and spirited in my body

    yah

    i feel tingly

    i feel afriad

    i feel afraid so often and i dont like it, i feel frustrated and ashamed and judgemental of myself feeling afraid

    youa re weak

    no one likes you when you are weak

    ugh

    you disgust me

    i dont want to be aroudn you

    you will suck my energy with your weakness

    i feel icky

    no please dont leave mee

    ugh

    i feel icky

    i love my icky feelings

    i love my shame

    i love my weakness

    ouch i love my finger tightness

    i lov emy frustration

    i love my fear

    you are one of the scary ones

    i dont want to be one of the scary ones

    i love my feelings of fear

    i feel ashamed to feel fear

    dear warrior Goddess

    I feel ashamed to feel fear

    what is the message?

    the message is the door to the unknown dear sister

    do you not dance when you feel shame and fear?

    feel shame and fear and dance on anyway

    dance with the shame and fear, despite and because

    celebrate your shame and fear

    seek not to understand

    seek but to dance

    seek the feel good

    and hold the fear hand

    there is

    more parts of you

    that need your help

    like babies

    you are never the weaker one

    there is always the weaker

    what say you to the baby?

    what say you to the child who wets her bed?

    ohh

    you feel disgust

    dance on

    in the disgust

    feeling dear sister

    do you know

    the beauty that lies in that digust

    love your twitches

    let them dance you

    dear Goddess

    I feel not good

    i feel uncomfortable

    to dance in the dark cave

    i feel alone and afraid

    i do not like it

    i do not want to be in the dark cave

    but i have come here

    to look for something

    important to me

    i feel frustrated

    that i do not find it

    i feel mistrustful

    of myself

    that i shall not find it

    that i shall perish here

    in the dark and the cold

    shall slowly eat and digest me

    dear sister

    you are a firefly

    you have the magic

    you have but to trust the strength in you

    that is there

    behind your thoughts

    there is impossible

    for anything to harm you

    there is only

    the fear

    and the cold

    there is only you

    and your braveness

    of the dark

    there is only your choice

    to be here

    or to go outside

    because you know

    outside

    you will come back again

    to search for what you search for

    inside yourself in this dark place

    will you feel sustained

    to know that soon

    you will see here in the dark

    that you are safe?

    do you feel your thigh

    it squeezes

    do you feel your mouth

    it tingles

    do you feel your ovary

    it pinches

    you are alive dear sister

    here in the dark

    it is i

    i am as you are

    the dark

    place from where you come

    like all the breathing creatures

    remember me

    and find your joy here

    in this dark place

    you look for light

    and i have many riches here

    for you to find

    but the greatest

    you shall find

    is your ability

    to face the dark

    to love the dark

    for you are the dark

    dear sister

    and your fear and horror and disgust adn anger and your joy even

    all ripples

    in the dark place

    feel safe here

    come back often

    go now

    and live outside

    for but a little while

    you will know

    to come back

    for you will feel

    the desire

    to come searching here for you

    and for the gold

    in the dark place

    and you will find me here again

    in the dark place

    and you will find more

    each time you come

    go now

    you are free
    as you always are

    remember

    that you are

    the lover of the dark awaits you

    you are

    the dark

    and every spark

    is but a creation

    that you have made

    be not afraid of you

    or be afraid

    its one and the same

    you are here

    you choose

    go now

    go

    go

    go



  48.  #48tallgirl10 on June 20, 2010 at 9:58 am

    I feel sad, but I did the right thing. I just ended things with text man.

    The whole time we were together I felt like this is wrong, I need to leave.

    I did not leave until this morning, but then I had the strength to really leave.

    I told him I was really enjoying getting to know him, and I always have fun when I see him, but that there was some disconnect that I could not describe or understand.

    So I asked him what he was feeling about how things were going.

    He said, I enjoy spending time with you, but this is not going to get serious. Or something to that effect.

    I said, I appreciate your honesty, but I do not want to be in something that does not have any trajectory. When he said – we can be friends, I did not give him a rousing yes. He said, I don’t want it to be awkward. I said, it will never be awkward.

    I asked for one last kiss, and I left.



  49.  #49Turtle girl on June 20, 2010 at 10:08 am

    Starlight-

    I did this with my new lover. He invited me over to his house and while there I simply told him I had not had sex for quite some time and would he mind? All impish and playful like. Cocked my head to one side and smiled big. lol….he ate it up….I had only had a few dates with him prior and I told him I liked him and did not want to mess things up but would he mind?

    Ha ha! Mind? He is a man for goodness sakes. He thought he had died and gone to heaven. And the sex is great. AND I am still dating others. He did not ask and I did not tell. I did not say anything about being sexually exclusive with him. Now if I find another man I want to be lovers with I will either have to tell him, or stop seeing him.

    I find the less I tell these men the better. It is part of the female mystery. When dating, I used to voluteer all sorts of information in the interest of honesty and it made me very “up front and masculine” Now I wait until they ask. I lean back. Works better that way for me. More mystery, they are attracted to me more. I am not saying I will be dishonest, no, I am just not offering what is not their business.

    It will come up I am sure but for now I am doing the rock star diva thing. Since I made up my mind I AM NOT going to be anyone’s gf, and am still dating others, I am not getting all gooey attached to this one. And I like this way better. That whole hormonal attachment give away our power thing feels awful. I don’t want to pin over any one man until they step up. The pining I did over toxic man was the worst feeling in my life. It was so awful I have no words to describe what I felt.

    I felt retched. I felt betrayed. I felt weeping and pain. I felt anger. I felt sadness beyond what I have ever experienced. Then in the middle of all that mess after I had rode away from him I found Rori.
    And well, thing heal. So never again. Never again be a gf and wait for them to decide what to do with you. Not no, but hell no. I have learned my lesson there. That relationship was what Natalie calls over at Baggage Reclaim the “epiphany relationship”

    I love her site. Has lots of really good stuff there about EU men and the crap we women do. Very helpful. xxxooo



  50.  #50tallgirl10 on June 20, 2010 at 10:15 am

    I feel really sad.



  51.  #51Lucy on June 20, 2010 at 10:24 am

    Tallgirl — ((((BIG HUG))))

    <3
    Lucy



  52.  #52tallgirl10 on June 20, 2010 at 10:34 am

    STAY AWAY FROM MEN WHO DO NOT ACT INTO YOU.

    I feel so sad and lonely.



  53.  #53Ankita on June 20, 2010 at 11:07 am

    Hey Sirens

    I got a really good article about high heels..
    Thought of posting it here….

    Walk smart in high heels

    1. Walking in high heels is all about pulling yourself a little and bringing in the element of elegance and grace into every step you take. So, put your head up and push your shoulders back. Heels have the tendency to pitch your weight forward. The trick here is to simply straighten up and tighten your core. This offsets the pressure on your feet.

    2. Forget taking long steps when slipping into heels. Switch over to baby steps. Walking in high heels gets a tad easy when you do, as it distributes your weight evenly on the ball of the foot and heel.

    3. When walking in stilettos, splay your toes in the shoe slightly when your body weight shifts completely onto one foot. It helps by distributing weight onto the ball of the foot.

    4. Swing your hips from side-to-side with small movements to make your walk attract attention. It also helps create more balance.

    5. Make a smart choice when shopping for those pair of heels. The farther forward the inner arch of the shoe is, the lesser will be the chances of you losing balance.



  54.  #54Ankita on June 20, 2010 at 11:22 am

    Hey there

    I just came back from date…
    And well, it was the best date I ever had….

    At first we met at metro station, from there Vijay took me to Inox forum, and Shopper’s stop, there at the food court we drank coffee at first, then he ordered a pizza for me…. He spoke 75% of the time…. I was listening most of the time…

    I had planned to stay for just 1 hour, but he didn’t had cash, and used only cards, and cards weren’t accepted there, so he had to rush to bank and take the money out, and all the while I was sitting at the food court waiting for him, and so we got delayed by nearly 45 minutes….

    He showed me his achievements, his pictures published in newspapers, brochures, etc. He sounded so proud of his accomplishments….

    Then as we left food court, he did escort me to metro and also paid my fare, he also went through metro….

    As we were standing there, “you are my love” started on the platform, he said, “look at the song, all are depicting us”, and I laughed it off….

    Then my train came, and as I was going, he asked, “Are you happy?”
    I said, “of course I am. Else I wouldn’t have been for so long with you..”
    He said, “Oh… you high rank people.. we are the low rank ones..”
    I joked, “Oh yes…. I am a high rank girl… Please bring me my chauffeur, as my butler is waiting at home for me…”, and then we both laughed loud…

    Then as I was leaving, he asked me to shake hands, I had ticket in my hand, so I could shake it with only two fingers, and he was like, “How can you call a two finger shake hand?”
    I was in a hurry, so without much thinking, I shaked again, well… And he didn’t held my hand too tightly, but he kept holding them, until I took my hand and went off in the train…

    As I boarded the train, I waved him off, and he was there standing, leaning against the pillar, just looking at me, without any motion….

    I felt really good after that….
    I was touched by his gesture…

    Then on my way back, I texted him, “I really enjoyed being with you. That did made me really happy.”

    He called back immediately asking me if I boarded the bus to my home, and also asked me to inform him when i reach home. After reaching home, I texted him, and also asked him just now, “How was his day with me?”, he hasn’t replied yet….



  55.  #55Ankita on June 20, 2010 at 11:25 am

    But I really felt guilty about one thing…

    While we were crossing the road, there were hundreds of taxis lined up, at the stop light. I was just thinking if Mr. V did see me or not, coz they are a a regular there…

    But then I thought, what if he sees me, after all, I don’t want to sit home just waiting for his call, i am not a weak lady, who will wait for him to make it happen, i rule my own life…!! I am free to do what i want….



  56.  #56Ankita on June 20, 2010 at 11:31 am

    I really feel angry that i haven’t heard from him…. He came to Kolkata 2 days ago, he may be busy with his project works and viva, but didn’t he get a minute to call me , and ask me how i am doing…???

    I feel turned off, I really like Mr. V…. and want him to take steps towards me…

    I feel so angry, what he thinks of himself…!!???? i want myself to be pursued by him, and he is there, still…!!

    I want him to be into me, COMPLETELY ME….

    I want him to come someday and own me….

    I dislike him logically, coz he talks a lot, questions a lot, argues a lot, is impulsive…. But something is there in him, which attracts me…!!

    I don’t want to be attracted to Vishal anymore, i want him to come to me, to feel for me…. I want him to leave all other girls, for a Siren like me…. I feel like, I am a Siren…!!



  57.  #57Ankita on June 20, 2010 at 11:33 am

    Vijay just replied back, “It was great. i also enjoyed a lot. So the next meet will be decided by you..! Good night… take care…”



  58.  #58Ankita on June 20, 2010 at 11:36 am

    TallGirl10

    I feel really sad for you, but I really like how you handled the situation…. Please don’t feel lonely, we are here for you…

    (((HUGS & LOVE)))



  59.  #59Ankita on June 20, 2010 at 11:48 am

    I forgot to add one thing, Vijay was singing all the way, he loves singing, and did even participate in Indian Idol, I felt really amused, but i was like ‘radio on’…. he he he.. lolz… ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜›

    He loves nature, he showed me the moon too, and that felt really nice and loved….

    On my way back, I was approached by another guy for friendship, he also asked me for coffee, but since I didn’t knew about his whereabouts, and how he suddenly emerged, i said that i already have a bf, but that I felt flattered by his attention, and I told him that too… ๐Ÿ˜‰



  60.  #60Ankita on June 20, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    I feel mad at my uncle, who inspite of knowing that am not in his hands, is trying to control me… Now he wants me to leave this govt. clg where i am about to do civil engineering, and join a private clg where I will get a good-for-nothing subject…

    Hell man….. He is bent on making my life hell… What does he wants man???? Control?????? Power?????? Disaster?????? What????????

    Why he just doesn’t shuts his mouth and let me do what I wanna do….???? What’s his problem man????

    I feel like thrashing him with a bamboo stick….. Don’t I have a right to live life my own way….??? The way he behaves…… I don’t interfere in his matters, why the heck he does…!!????

    He’s not my uncle, he’s a devil in disguise…

    uuuhhh… I hate him…..
    I will live life my own way, no matter what that f**king man does, in anyway, he knows nothing better than f**king… Sits at his wife foot all day long, and waits for her order…
    Ugghhhh… Not even fit to be called a proper man….

    A black spot in our family…!!!

    I don’t think of him as my family…. He can’t be…!!!



  61.  #61Brenda on June 20, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    Hi Ankita!

    I am happy your date went so well and you felt so cherished and respected!

    Sorry to hear about evil uncle. Just use feeling messages and I don’t want messages with him, too.



  62.  #62StarLight on June 20, 2010 at 7:24 pm

    *Hugs* Tallgirl; I feel so sorry for your unhappiness ๐Ÿ™

    Turtle Girl: Thank You! i feel so happy for you and your rock star goddessy-y ways and for sharing your story; it’s been a long time for me too and I was looking forward to just “would you mind” with Hot Tub Man, but he got all weird and said he felt “awkward” when I said I didn’t want just a one night stand, that would feel sleazy and I haven’t heard from him since … but that’s OK!!! Lawyer Man said it was my loss I did not sleep with him but we have just met & I am not a ho so I felt good about leaving with just kissing!! But I DO want a lover diva-like because I have been single for 18 years and who knows if Mr. Right will ever show up … in the meantime, I do not want to be a dried up old hag, so I will continue CD’ing … thank you, Universe, for Rori – her Tools are the answer…*hugs* to you …



  63.  #63StarLight on June 20, 2010 at 7:30 pm

    Ankita: I feel happy you are pleased with your date … lean back and let Mr. V. row the boat, don’t call, don’t text … just relax ๐Ÿ™‚



  64.  #64Lucy on June 20, 2010 at 7:41 pm

    What’s the difference between “taking a lover” and “being a girlfriend”?

    That might sound like a dumb question, but I’m asking because of what Siena said that Rori said “girlfriend” means to a guy — sexual exclusivity.

    I thought “girlfriend” meant more than that.

    But if Rori says “girlfriend” just means sexual exclusivity, then isn’t that the same as “taking a lover”?



  65.  #65StarLight on June 20, 2010 at 8:25 pm

    Turtle Girl: sorry, i was feeling all gooey from my date with Lawyer man… and didn’t read all of your post…

    I feel weeping for your pain over toxic man, I feel anger, I feel I want to find him and pound him into the dust!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How dare he hurt such a beautiful soul I wish I were a man for 5 minutes so I could beat him up & defend each of you beautiful women on here (blowing smoke out my ears, anger & frustration in my chest, tightness, Oh I love my anger & frustration, I love my weeping I love my tightness & desire to protect other lovely women, thank you, NV, I love you, I want all of us to find Great Love)… whew! I feel better ๐Ÿ™‚

    Lifting a toast to you and I’m in awe of your bravery! Yay! If Lawyer man asks me out again I will use your technique ’cause yeah, it’s been tttoooo long (devilish grin) xoxoxoxoxo



  66.  #66Ankita on June 20, 2010 at 11:10 pm

    Jilly, Brenda & Starlight

    Thanks people for all your help and feedback… I feel so happy…!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    I have a question….

    Today is Mr. V’s (Vishal) birthday, I don’t know if I should wish him on orkut, or should I not? Coz he returned India 3-4 days ago, and hasn’t called me since, i can understand that he is busy with his project works and viva, but how long it takes to make a phone call?

    I am definitely not going to text or call him, coz after returning he hasn’t initiated that, while at ship, he used to call me, and I don’t wanna sound desperate….

    What should I do? Should I wish him his bday on orkut or not? I am confused….



  67.  #67Simply Shannon on June 21, 2010 at 6:25 am

    Daria: I feel interested in this journey you’re on. It seems we are both working towards the same destination but from two different points.

    …going to work everyday and coming back drained, with 75% of my day gone so I can regroup 25% and sleep the rest…

    Yes, this really resonated with me. For most of my life, I’ve worked a full-time-plus-some job. Now I work 30 hours a week from home. And while the perks are great, I don’t feel satisfied. I no longer want to work in the rat race. I feel desire to work with people, helping them.

    I don’t want…
    to earn money…
    to buy the big house (already done that)…
    to have more bills…
    to need more money…
    to work harder.

    Blech. I feel encouraged that you are sticking to your guns here and looking for a different way. I feel amazed.

    I want to sell my house. I may live in an RV in my parents’ backyard or get a small apartment for me and my boys. Who knows. I feel open to the possibilities.

    I know I don’t want to do nothing but working hard for the money feels yucky and is no longer desirable for me.

    I hope you’re able to come up with the money to pay your bills. Even with a job, I have a hard time doing that. I *want* my standard of living to change.

    Well, it’s really already changed. Now that I don’t have frivolous money, I can no longer afford all the “stuff” that got me feeling stuck in the first place.

    First rule of thumb… If I’m in a hole, stop digging. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Funny I never thought of it this way but God took away my extra “fun” money so that I would stop buying stuff. And I’m selling my stuff in order to a) make money and b) get unstuck.

    Not buying new stuff and selling old stuff = free Shannon!



  68.  #68Brenda on June 21, 2010 at 7:46 am

    Ankita,

    I read in the other thread where you already decided to wish him happy birthday. Siena told me to give him the gift of missing you on his birthday, and to only wish him happy birthday if he contacted me on his birthday. But I’m sure it was no harm done!

    Have a wonderful day!



  69.  #69Roseanna Leaton on June 21, 2010 at 12:20 pm

    What a great poem. Thank you for sharing it and encouraging the embracing of womens natural beauty.



  70.  #70Turtle Girl on June 21, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    Lucy-
    My understanding of being a gf is that you are sexually exclusive AND you do not date anyone else-so no CD’ing. But you can be sexual with one guy and still date (coffee, dinner, fun stuff) with other men.

    That to me is gf status when I am off the market totally. But I am not off the market. I am simply chosing to have sex with one man and still see and have fun with several others in my cd repertoire.
    So-that’s how I understand it. And it is working for me and I am not all invested in one man. The sex may be great, but it could be with someone else also if I choose. My lover has not asked me to “be his girlfriend”. So there it is. I am sure at some point if this continues for too much longer then something is gonna come up-if he is a guy who wants me for himself. but I will address my no gf speech to him then.

    Starlight-Good luck with lawyer man! xxxooo
    wow-18 years is a long time. It has been ten for me…..I get it….xxoo



  71.  #71softy on June 21, 2010 at 9:14 pm

    Aphrodite and her divine gift of Love to humanity

    Regaining self respect by regaining access to her body – not as a image of slender proportions / perfections (Glamour Girl) , Rather as a Flesh and Blood sensual woman of value in her own right – in her ability to connect with her HEART



  72.  #72StarLight on June 21, 2010 at 10:32 pm

    Turtle Girl & Sirens: I’d love to hear your take on this if anyone has an opinion:

    I’m glad I experimented with Lawyer man; although my outcome is different than yours! I learned a lot! He had said on earlier dates that he would love to ravish me and I wouldn’t be sorry (maybe that was my first red flag LOL) so when he texted me today; I replied I was feeling … ravishing … and he said he’d be right over!

    Whoa! I am used to feeling very goddessy & diva-ish; I am very comfortable with sex and kinda lose myself in the moment and really ENJOY myself…but this time, I was ready to leave afterwards ’cause I felt there was no connect; I felt like he could have been multi-tasking any number of things while we had sex. Wow, an eye opener! I mean, I can’t even talk in complete sentences when I’m having sex, and he is SSOOOO in control = not losing it at all…

    When I used feeling statements afterwards, he said, oh, you’re wanting an emotional connection, I see, now you want an emotional commitment.. I replied, no I”M NOT looking for an emotional connection (and I really am not with him but I am used to having men adore me) I’m feeling like you were bored or preoccupied I said what do you think? (I know, I said ‘you’ but I couldn’t figure out how else to say it ๐Ÿ™‚ since I’d already said disconnected & he took offense to that… ) Hmm, this doesn’t feel good I said. Now I feel bad, he said, I know you came…um, yeah, I am a sensual person, I always come…I’m not talking about your performance. (I am usually feeling totally goddessy, totally diva, and I’m not feeling that now – but I didn’t say that). Oh, first sex is NEVER “AWESOME”, he says (he is kinda mocking me). Um, I don’t like that, I feel you’re making fun of me, what do you think? oh, you gotta learn to take it if you’re gonna dish it out…

    wow, this does NOT seem like the same guy I’d been going out with …

    I’m wanting to use this experience as a mirror, I want to learn the lesson, so we discuss it further – I feel curious about this encounter, what it means, and what my message is…

    So he keeps making comments on how he wasn’t AWESOME enuf… and maybe I’m the one who’s so narcissistic that I think I am just so great in bed and now he’s not awesome enough … like now he’s feeling really insecure so now I’ve made a mess … trying to use feeling statements and make my boundaries clear…wow, this is such a change from when we went out – he was attentive and complimentary then; I felt good, and I felt attracted to him….

    hmmm, the lesson, I think: I shoulda just stopped and left when I didn’t feel he was into me in the moment, instead accepting his explanation and going on with it (but I really did want to finish haha)

    I feel glad I’m not upset, I feel a bit icky that I didn’t read him better beforehand, and I definitely do NOT want to see him again, although he said he insists on “Round 2” on Thursday … hmmm….

    Insights & comments welcome ๐Ÿ™‚



  73.  #73Sweetpea on June 22, 2010 at 12:28 am

    Starlight, it sounds to me like he was feeling sexually inadequate & defensive. Hmmm…

    What is it you were feeling? You don’t want an emotional commitment from him, but did you want an emotional connection? I think you were right on about his feeling insecure. I guess I’m just not sure what it was you were wanting. Maybe I need a little more detail. Were you wanting to take him as a lover? A no strings attached lover? It doesn’t seem you were looking for a one night stand…

    There was an interesting talk on the thread above this one about getting clear on one’s feelings. My take on this is that you weren’t exactly sure what you wanted thus the difficulty in conveying to him what you wanted. Please let me know if I’m missing something. From what you said, if it were me, I would decide exactly what I want from him, tell him & gauge his reaction before I made the decision to not see him anymore, but I really feel that I’m missing some important information…



  74.  #74Sweetpea on June 22, 2010 at 12:36 am

    Starlight – I just read on an earlier post how you told another man you wanted to be sexually exclusive with someone but aren’t looking to be a gf. Is this what you told Lawyer Man? Sorry. I hadn’t read all of the posts on here apparently.



  75.  #75mary on June 22, 2010 at 1:35 am

    sweetpea! you’re up late…



  76.  #76StarLight on June 22, 2010 at 4:04 am

    Morning Sweatpea;

    I hope you are OK and not missing any sleep … ๐Ÿ™

    Thanks! For your comments … I’m still pretty new with the feeling statements, so sometimes I struggle with what I’m trying to say …

    from earlier posts, it’s been awhile for me & I wanted to experiment like Turtle Girl -I know this guy, we have the same friends – he just broke up with someone; seemed we had chemistry – I wanted to take a lover – a week? a month? until I didn’t want to anymore … and I am not sexually attracted to any of my other CD’s… he was attractive, we went out a bit, it felt nice, we had good convos…I’m feeling why not? It’s been awhile and I want to have sex. He is WAY too young for me to seriously consider him ring material, but for a lover? OK!! LOL

    My feelings are: I feel it coulda been his own hand … I mean, I’ve been single for 18 years & anyone else I’ve slept with has at least said, wow you smell good, or or you feel good … something, anything! … I mean, I’ve had “boy toys” before and he wasn’t even breathing hard LOL very self contained I felt. Weird. But a good experience, ’cause I learned what I DON’T want haha

    I feel jealous it worked for Turtle Girl at the same time, I feel glad she got what she wanted and the sex is great ๐Ÿ™‚ I feel awed that her goddessy self is radiating her confidence … ๐Ÿ™‚



  77.  #77TW on June 22, 2010 at 8:52 am

    Hello ladies…. My boyfriend and I broke up yesterday but it was more mutual I guess. Anyway, he said his reason was he could not give me the time that I needed and derserved right now. Then he started texting me like nothing happened. He came overand we were talking like normal then we had sex. I said I guess we got break up sex over with early as a joke and he said this isn’t break up sex. Then he told me that hedidnt really want me with other ppl. I didn’t really want to break things off but it seemed like it would be easier for everyone. He was asking me was I gonna move now that I’ve finished school and I was like why would you ask me that. Then I’m off work for two days and he said why are you taking days off now when your birthday is in two months. Like he was trying to make me feel like yeah I remember all those things about you. I miss him already you know. I want my relationship but a new, fresh one.



  78.  #78Turtle Girl on June 23, 2010 at 10:12 am

    Starlight-

    It sounds like maybe lawyer man is a little insecure (youth?) and maybe the two of you are just not compatible. I find that sexual energy and connections are very different with different people. So maybe he is just not the guy to take for a lover? I don’t know.

    I look for the message in front of me. The lover I took is one that I am extremely comfortable around. There is almost zero awkwardness, we just seem to fit sexually like a glove. It feels good, relaxed, fun, sexy, and wow! So that’s working for me. But I have have situations in the past with men sexually where I was attracted to them chemistry wise but when we got under the sheets, we both just know it was too weird for whatever reason. I no longer try and figure this shit out. If it isn’t working, I just move on. Life is way to short.

    Sexual style is often hard to match up. If he is really self contained and you are intense and busting out all over, well, sooner of later you are going to feel resentful. I totally get that. I am very intense sexually with lots of sexual energy and love sex. I scare some men away. They are just not into me or the way I am. They need a women who is more sedate and letting them be the sexual one.

    There is no wrong way. There is only the question-
    “What is it I want for me?” What kind of man in and out of bed do I want for me to be pleased and happy?” For me, I better have a guy who really likes to rock and roll or I will get bored. I want him present and into me. Self containment is for corporate board rooms…..lol……xxxooo



  79.  #79StarLight on June 23, 2010 at 8:49 pm

    Turtle Girl:

    Thank YOU ๐Ÿ™‚ I feel like you can read my mind; we are very much alike LOL I love “self containment is for corporate boardrooms” LOL EXACTLY…yep, I wanna rock and roll; I am very intense ….

    He texted today for a ‘love connection’ I said, that doesn’t feel good; I feel it’s best to move on haha

    (((hugs)))



  80.  #80Kate on June 24, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    Ok, so I’m wondering if it is bad to continue dating a man that is obviously smitten, when I’m not really feeling it?

    In my attempt to circular date after being in a relationship (living together) with a somewhat emotionally unavailable man for 2+ years, I’m finally have some luck attracting men that are treating me better.

    One guy in particular is very good at calling, emailing and asking me out. We like all the same things, he tells me how nice I look, how much he likes me, he’s cooked me dinner and just yesterday sent me flowers at work. While he is definitely decent looking, tall, attractive enough…I don’t feel physically attracted to him and don’t want it to go any farther in that department (at least not right now). I actually feel more of a friendship vibe towards him, although he clearly wants more and we’ve kissed and held hands, etc. We’ve been out four times and he asked me to go on an overnight camping trip this weekend, to which I said no. Basically, I’m not ready for an overnight anything with him so I made up a lame excuse about needing to be in town for part of the weekend so it wouldn’t work.

    He makes me feel great, so I want to continue seeing him. But I don’t know how to handle the fact that I feel only friendship towards him at this point. As an aside, I have an extremely high sex drive, so I am baffled with myself over this one. Any advice Rori, or ladies?

    Thank you,
    Kate



  81.  #81TW on June 24, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    Kate,

    You should start expressing youself in feeling messages. I am not sure as to what you really wanted to say to him but you should start whatever it is with I feel. I feel as though it is too soon for an overnight trip or something like that.



  82.  #82Lucy on June 24, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    Kate, I was in a very similar situation — I mentioned it a couple times in other threads — I called him D.

    I had sex with him and it wasn’t very good — and he’s not a good kisser either.

    But he basically fell in love with me and was really “stepping up” big time, but my attraction got less and less. I told him I felt confused. And I didn’t really want to say more than that at the time. (I was very new to Rori’s work!) So I ended things with my “I feel confused” statements.

    Now, a few months later, I miss his friendship.

    So, if I were in your shoes now, or rather, back where I was with him, I might say, “I feel confused and uncertain. I feel like I allowed myself to go too fast with this. I would feel good about being friends — just friends — at this point. What do you think?”



  83.  #83Lucy on June 24, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    p.s. I have an extremely strong sex drive too, so I felt weird about not wanting to have sex with him any more!!!



  84.  #84Beth on June 26, 2010 at 8:26 am

    I would like to know what feeling messages are. It has been said to e-mail, etc. to his emotions. Please give me some examples.
    Thank you.



  85.  #85Rori Raye on June 26, 2010 at 5:21 pm

    Beth – Welcome – and I’d love to answer your question – but Feeling Messages are at the core of all my work – and you’ll find stuff around it everywhere – here, in my emails, and start with the ebook – it’s a workbook and will get you speaking in Feeling Messages right away…Love, Rori



  86.  #86Brenda on June 28, 2010 at 11:08 am

    Beth,

    Feeling messages are when you start many sentences with, “I feel…”.

    I feel glad you contacted me.
    Oh, yes, 12 pm feels like a good time.
    It would feel so good to be with a man who protected me!
    I feel confused.
    I feel angry.
    I feel upset.

    Typically here is how Rori sets up effective communication, and we practice it here:

    I feel upset. I don’t like it when I fall to the bottom of your priority list. What can we do about it?

    or

    I feel so happy! I love it when you massage my back like that!

    or

    I feel weird when you talk to me like that. I don’t like to be treated like one of the guys. What do you think?

    These are effective ways to open our hearts so a man knows how we feel, while at the same time we are not ordering him around or making him to blame.



  87.  #87Brenda on June 28, 2010 at 11:09 am

    BTW, Rori explains it far better in her CD seminars!



  88.  #88Andrea on September 1, 2010 at 3:15 am

    Hi Rori:

    I am having a dilemma. I have met a man. And when I met him, I had no feelings of attraction to him. Then one day, (we take a bootcamp class at the gym) I wanted him to notice me. So I talked to him on occasion and I guess you could say I leaned forward (sorry!). I ended up telling him we should get together at this concert near my home. That was it, he initiated the rest. For a moment in time, I wasnโ€™t sure if he was into me, but then I quickly realized that I was wrong.

    The dilemma is I was attracted to him when I wasnโ€™t sure that he liked me, but now he is really headed toward relationship territory. It feels like it came out of nowhere (this chain of events has happened within a month or less). One day we knew each from class, then we hung out once or twice and then boom, heโ€™s holding my hand, kissing me, calling me babe, texting me daily, calling when he says he will call, cuddling on the couch, spending an entire weekend with me, bringing me dinner when Iโ€™m sick, being extremely thoughtful and nice, but he is not over bearing about it. Everything a woman wants from a man right? So why do I not feel attracted to him now? Is it because I always seem to be in toxic relationships or am I just not that into him? I almost feel like Iโ€™m the man in the relationship, I could take it or leave it. We hooked up one night and I didnโ€™t feel anything, I could have gotten up and left and never called or he never call me and I would be fine. I donโ€™t know that I want to be this way. I mean itโ€™s wonderful not to feel desperate, but itโ€™s horrible that I donโ€™t feel anything.

    Should I give up on this? I donโ€™t want to string him along. My ex did that to me, he strung me a long for 4 years even promises of marriage, but it was all lies. I am wondering if I now feel for this man the way my ex felt about me? I canโ€™t be as cold or heartless as my ex which is why Iโ€™m seeking advice and feedback and any answers if you have them! Thank you!



  89.  #89Rick on October 10, 2011 at 9:53 am

    I am a man, I saw your site and thought a woman would probably be my best help. So here it goes. I am married
    for 27 years. For the past 10 years my wife and I grew apart. We talked about it, went for counseling and realized we are not in love any more. We live like best friends and roommates. Not like a husband and wife. My wife also over these 10 years has lost interest in sex, she blames it on early menopausal issues. So we decided to divorce. We are both fine in all this. Here is the problem, I met a woman 4 years ago and started a friendship with her that grew into a love relationship between us. Even though it was against both our principles we made love and fell in love. My girlfriend knew all up front,except shethought our divorce would have been faster, which is my fault because I wanted my wife to initiate the process. Before I met this woman four years ago my wife said she wanted a divorce.
    So I waited for her to initiate the process, not knowing I would fall for another woman. The reason for the delay in our divorce was financial, too many things hit all at once.
    You name it it happened, my daughter was going to college, the economy got bad, my investments tanked on me, and job loss. So now I am in the process of my divorce but my girlfriend feels she fell out of love with me. She feels I should have moved it faster for us to be together. Now she tells me that she does not want sex which we have been holding off of any way and says get the divorce and we will see how she feels after this. Now in between all this she has been true to me and I true to her. She mentioned that somebody was interested in courting her and asked me how I felt? I said I am in love with her and her only and asked her not to let anybody in between.
    I want to marry her and have a family with her. So far she has not let anybody in. As per her request, she just wants to see eachother as friends which is what we are doing. We get together play tennis, go to a movie, have dinner etc. Her rule is no intamacy till I am divorced, I agreed. I am in love with her no doubt, I know she loves me no doubt.
    I just wonder can she fall back in love with me? How do I handle this? I don’t want to lose her. How do I keep her without pressuring her? I don’t want to smother her yet I want her to know I am there for her. How do I reassure her of this as I go through the process of divorce. I am finding my relationship with her tougher than the divorce because as a man I don’t know if I am reading her right. I lover so much and she knows it, yet I feel I could lose her if I don’t play my cards right. I hope you can help me. Signed, Rick, A man lost in love as he goes through a divorce.