You Have More Power Than You Think – Do You Want It?

resized blogrr photos (10)

The Mantra:

I have more energy than I think.

I have more power than I think.

I actually am incredibly powerful and I know it…

The Catch:

…but I don’t like it.

I don’t like it because with great power comes great responsibility…

If you’re a mom, a pet person, a volunteer… you know what this feels like:

For a mom, there’s the responsibility of keeping another human being alive.

Suddenly, you’re 100% responsible for the survival of another human being.

A human being you made.

It’s terrifying.

It strips you of all ideas of grandeur.

It reduces you to a slavery to your philosophy of faith in God and what you deserve.

All of a sudden you feel inadequate.

The rest of motherhood is all about either getting a new sense of aptitude and ability and diminishing of your sense of ineptitude and being aware enough to know when you are sugarcoating and trying to balance off that feeling of ineptitude with anger …or just experiencing a continuous train of feelings of ineptitude and trying to counter them,

If you’re not a mom, perhaps you have a cat. Great place to start.

A fish was always hard for me because the fish dies so soon and so easily.

So always controlled by you, fed by you, cleaned by you, so protected by you.

A cat seems a little more capable, a cat you can keep inside your house, a little bit more safe.

Then you go to a dog.

And all of a sudden you have to take the dog outside you have to walk among other people and other dogs… big dogs. Scary dogs.

All of a sudden you have to go to doctors who you don’t trust with needles on your dog.

All of a sudden you need to train.

All of a sudden you feel responsible for whether or not your dog can hear you and listen to you.

All of a sudden you feel humble.

Not so inept perhaps, but humbled by your connection with your dog that feels more than being a custodian.

You feel the two-way street.

You feel what the dog grants you, like you felt what the cat granted you, but you were able to keep your cat more safe than you can keep your dog safe.

Unless you let the cat outside.

And then, if you move to motherhood, the overriding intensity of the feeling of the need for you to be capable of protecting your child becomes mushed up with fear and anger and so many feelings and realities outside in the world over which you have no control.

Then – when a man comes into the picture, it all changes.

He adds a bit of safety. You are not in this alone.

He’s also a distraction.

He might lift you up out of the fear – or distract you from it.

Or he may bring you down in other ways.

But if he takes center stage, the problem moves, and the heaviness changes direction.

If you do not want to let a man go because you do not want the responsibility of power and autonomy – I get that.

I also believe that we each, at some point, have to come to terms with the level of responsibilty we bear, and the power we wield, and how we can find a place that feels FANTASTIC!

It all has to do with what you Want. And some days we want one thing, and some days another.

Some days we feel more burdened and afraid than others.

Some days we remember pain and grief, and some days we remember joy and fun.

Some days we can simply surrender to whatever it is that’s happening enough to let our natural, brilliant creativity for life to bubble to the top and choose things that not only make us feel better – but make EVERYONE feel better!

Sometimes it’s about money, and not having enough to feel safe.

Sometimes it’s about fear of having money.

Sometimes it’s about loneliness, and sometimes it’s about feeling invaded and surrounded.

Sometimes it feels like power, and sometimes it feels like a ton of lead on our whole bodies, weighing us down with life-or-death responsibility.

The Solution to any of this is always to stop trying to formulate an answer – and, instead, believe the answer will come to you.

Then you let it come to you.

When the memories come flooding in and stop you cold, this is when you get to feel your power to choose otherwise.

Love, Rori

 

 

 

Posted in