Young, Stressed And Depressed – Can You Turn It Around?

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The Question:

“Dear Rori, Thank you for your great help, without making it too long, my problem in short is that I’m so afraid that he would leave me alone, he dreams of travelling to work abroad and I can’t imagine to wake up one day to find myself alone in this country…

… not to be able to hear his voice frequently, I even won’t be able to ring him on his mobile phone (missed calls), every time I imagine myself without him I cant stop crying, you know he is every thing in my life, I don’t have friends, I don’t have work or any activity, I spend the summer holiday(all of it) at home watching T.V.

The second point is that I am unable to feel good about myself, my family deals with me as if I am a boy, I hear no good or encouraging words, all what I hear are completely dissapointing comments…

… I’m unable to make any change in my life, whenever I get a new idea I get opposed by my parents, they treat me as a child and I’m not. I am in the last year faculty of engineering, 23 years old.

I really can’t find happiness, I feel lots of stresses, worries, sorrow, discouragement and exams.

Never mind if you don’t have a solution for my problem, its enough for me that I told someone about what I suffer. thanks a lot again for your help and sorry for the long mail. Lana”

My Answer:

Dear Lana, This is Rori – I wanted to answer you and give you some support. You sound very stressed and depressed.

It doesn’t have to be this way for you.

I hear that your parents are not helping you emotionally and that you struggle against them – and yet still love them – and it sounds as if they love you but don’t know how to talk to you or treat you.

I also hear that you are almost done with school, and if you’re going to become an engineer – you have a WONDERFUL life, with good income, and some very interesting projects, to look forward to.

I want you to have hope.

You can get professional medical help, too. There are tons of doctors now who are empathetic, practice natural, holistic, and standard western medicine, who even do work online, and can perhaps help you clinically.  With diet, supplements, medication, testing.

Please don’t disregard this possibility. So many environmental and internal things can throw off our mental states.

Look ahead at the possibilities you’re not able to see right now.

First thing – get out of the house and go do something – walk, and when you can, join a group, go to a religious service, sports, game rooms, concerts, coffee houses, anything.

Until you can go “public” – try everything online – groups, meet-ups, board game online rooms!

Turn off the TV.

Find a job – anywhere where you can meet people and talk to people, even over Zoom for now…

When you can, try everything.

Sit down and write a list of all the things you would do if you weren’t feeling depressed – all the things you’d like to do – and then pick one or two and do them.

Even just taking yourself for a walk would be a great thing.

Before this man, or any man can WANT you – YOU have to want you.

When we can’t look ourselves in the mirror and say “I love you – no matter what…” it makes it way more difficult to meet and connect with a good man for us who wants to love us…(not impossible, just more difficult).

So – it’s in your hands. Help yourself. Heal yourself.

You can DO this – you’re smart – read all kinds of self-help and psychology and spiritual books, get my programs if you can.

Perhaps one day YOU will travel abroad to work! And HE will want to follow YOU!

Follow the uplifting fantasy, rather than the painful sticky bog.

Love, Rori

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